Moving Through Heartbreak After a Breakup
Heartbreak after a breakup can feel devastating—no matter who ended the relationship.
You may have made the decision yourself. You may have felt it was necessary. Or maybe the choice wasn’t yours, and you’re still reeling from the shock. Either way, heartbreak is real, and it deserves space.
Breakups are rarely simple. Even when you know the relationship had to end, the grief can feel overwhelming. You might find yourself questioning everything. You may wonder why it hurts so much, especially if things weren’t working.
The end of a relationship doesn’t come with a neat emotional conclusion. Instead, there’s a mix of sadness, anger, relief, longing, and confusion. And if you’ve built your life around this person, their absence can shake your sense of who you are.
This post explores what heartbreak after a breakup can feel like, and how to begin navigating it with care.
Understanding Heartbreak After a Breakup
Heartbreak after a breakup is more than just sadness. It’s a physiological and emotional experience that affects your body, your thoughts, your sleep, and your ability to function.
You might feel hollow or completely overwhelmed. One moment you feel calm, the next you’re crying in the car. Your appetite disappears. Or you eat to fill the ache. You might check your phone constantly, even though you’ve nothing new to say.
Heartbreak disrupts your routine, your nervous system, and your sense of emotional safety. It can leave you feeling lost, even if ending the relationship felt right.
And if you initiated the breakup, the pain might come with guilt. You might doubt your decision or carry the weight of hurting someone else. If your partner ended it, you may feel abandoned, powerless, or blindsided. Either way, heartbreak is grief.
This Is Grief in Disguise
The end of a relationship is a kind of loss. But unlike death, people don’t always recognise it as grief.
You’re grieving shared routines, in-jokes, physical closeness, and emotional attachment. You might miss the version of yourself that existed in that connection. Or the future you imagined.
You’re also grieving the invisible things—being someone’s person, the comfort of their presence, the habits you built together.
Grief doesn’t follow logic. It doesn’t care who ended the relationship or whether it “should” hurt. It shows up where there’s been emotional investment—and loss.
Allowing yourself to see heartbreak as grief can offer permission to feel everything without rushing to fix it.
The Body Holds the Pain
Heartbreak lives in your body, not just your thoughts.
You might feel tightness in your chest, tension in your shoulders, or exhaustion you can’t shake. Your body responds to emotional pain as it would to a physical wound.
That’s why self-care after heartbreak must include your body. Breathwork, movement, sleep, and nourishment aren’t luxuries. They’re part of how your nervous system finds stability again.
Soften your expectations. Rest more. Move gently. Let your body recover while your mind processes.
You’re Not Weak for Feeling This
Sometimes people feel embarrassed about how long it’s taking to feel better. You might think, I should be over this by now. Or, Why does this still hurt?
But healing from heartbreak doesn’t follow a schedule. There’s no right timeline. There’s no deadline for emotional recovery.
You’re not dramatic for still feeling sad. You’re not weak for still missing someone. You’re human—and heartbreak is a human experience.
What You’re Feeling Is Normal
You might feel:
- Confused about whether you made the right choice
- Angry one moment and heartbroken the next
- Guilty for feeling relief
- Longing for connection but unable to trust it again
- Tempted to reach out, even when you know it’s not right
These feelings are normal. They can all exist at once. None of them cancel each other out.
Heartbreak after a breakup brings contradictions. Let them be there. There’s no need to make sense of them all at once.
You Can Still Move Forward
Even when you’re hurting, you can begin to move forward. Not by forcing yourself to be fine, but by supporting yourself gently.
Here are three small ways to begin.
1. Let Yourself Grieve
Give yourself permission to feel sad. You don’t need a justification. You don’t need to explain why it hurts. It’s enough that it does.
Let yourself cry. Write what you’re feeling. Sit with your sadness for a moment without rushing to change it.
Grieving doesn’t mean you’re stuck. It means you’re honouring what mattered.
2. Anchor Yourself in the Present
When heartbreak pulls you into the past or future, come back to the now.
Use grounding techniques. Breathe slowly. Notice your surroundings. Go for a walk and feel your feet on the ground.
The pain lives in your thoughts. But your peace lives in the present.
Each time you return to it, you reclaim a little more stability.
3. Care for Your Body and Mind
This is the time for small kindnesses.
Eat nourishing food, even if you don’t feel like it. Rest, even if you can’t sleep. Move your body, even just a little.
Talk to someone who understands. Journal at the end of the day. Try a guided meditation to soothe your nervous system.
You don’t need to solve everything today. You just need to create enough care to steady yourself for tomorrow.
Healing Doesn’t Mean Forgetting
You don’t have to erase the memories to move forward. You don’t have to shut down your feelings to be okay.
Healing means remembering without hurting in the same way. It means being able to look back with clarity, not confusion. It means rebuilding your sense of self—gently, gradually, and on your own terms.
You won’t feel like this forever. It may not feel true right now, but the day will come when the ache softens. When you feel a little lighter. When you take a deep breath and realise it doesn’t hurt as much as it did yesterday.
That’s healing. Quiet. Subtle. Real.
Heartbreak after a breakup doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It means something real was lost—and your feelings are doing their best to catch up.
Grieve if you need to. Miss them if you do. Move on gently, in your own time.
Let each moment be a step. You don’t have to know where it leads.
You just have to begin.
If you’re ready to begin, I offer a free, confidential consultation. There’s no pressure. Just a conversation about what’s been happening and what support might look like for you.
You’re also welcome to download my free guide, 7 Steps to Self Care During Relationship Struggles, for thoughtful insight and a reflective place to start.
You don’t have to carry this alone.
Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.